Conkers NO! I cried for what felt like the millionth time since this bundle of furry fun joined our household.  During her 3 weeks with us she has never been allowed on the sofa, this does not however stop her trying at every available second..In fact as we speak I just went to make myself a cup of tea leaving her fast asleep on the floor in a sunspot only to return 2 minutes later to see her installed on the sofa snuggled into a blanket! She didn’t stay there long!
It set me thinking how many times we repeat the same behaviour that never works.  Think about someone that winds you up or annoys you at work, you know that one who (we believe) their life’s mission is to annoy us!  I know that Conkers will soon realise that it is not worth trying to climb on the sofa as she will always be told to get off, and that she might just keep trying for some time, but I know that at some point it will change.  Part of my tactic (other than sounding like the only word of English I know is “No”) is to show her alternative places to sleep, and give her the choice of which she wants to do from a selection of acceptable alternatives.  What if we were to apply this learning to ourselves and to our relationships with others that could work better? Try changing the way you are with that person, behave to them how you want them to behave to you.  In doing so you can show them a different way of being, they can see how it feels and they have a choice then to reciprocate to you.